Do you ever see something that makes you shake your head? Ever feel embarrassment for someone else? Ever feel more embarrassed because you were somehow associated with that person? Remember when you had to do group projects in grade school, everyone would share the same grade, no matter what? If so, then you have some idea of what it is like to be black in America.

DeWayne Wickham’s article in USA Today strikes a fairly resonant cord. The subject is the appropriateness of black fashion, particularly jewel encrusted mouthpieces and low baggy pants. (Full disclosure: I’m not a fan. If you walk into my house, dittybopping, grillz in place, boxers showing, and you say, “Wuz up nigga?”, I’m hurling your ass out of my house.)

Vincent Holloman, a ten year old, was awarded with some grillz for examplary academic performance. No, they were not given out by the school board. These grillz were cemented in place by a dentist. A school guidance counselor found them inappropriate and tried to forcibly removed them from Vincent’s mouth, cause gum damage. (Read more here.)

According to Wickham, some states are looking to institute public dress codes to prevent exposure due to low riding shorts. Before anyone starts to cheer, remember, this would also ban the visible thong. Take that, White America.

Here’s the thing that everyone seems to have forgotten in all this talk about the appropriateness of black fashion. It’s fashion. It changes. It goes away. Give it time. Deplorable as you may find it, eventually, it’s gone. The Jheri Curl went away. You don’t see anyone rocking much kente cloth or Africa medallions anymore, and there was a time when those were the “must haves” of black fashion. Sad as the fashion statement may seem, and believe me, I can’t stand it, it’s going to run its natural course which eventually ends in termination.

There is a very poignant line at the end of Wickham’s article, “When blacks demean themselves, we give other license to do the same.” It hurts because it’s an unavoidable truth. I’ve said for a long time, “If you’re black and you do something exceptional, you’re special. If you’re black and you do something stupid, you’re a statistic.” Don’t take my word for it, pick up your local paper. Next time an incident involving a black perpetrator is reported, see if there is any reference to a “systemic problem”. See if the incident is “common in such areas”. Check if the words “ongoing”, “troublesome trend”, or “yet another” are used. Really do your homework. See if the same sort of crime is perpetrated by white people, and see if the incident is reported on in the same manner.

It’s a sad reality, if you’re black, and you do something stupid, it embarrasses us all. However, is the current fashion trend really so bad? As I admitted, I’m not a fan. If I had a child that walked into the house with his underwear showing and talked like his mouth was filled with marbles and punctuated every sentence with, “Knamean?” I’d beat him within an inch of his life. Nevertheless, that’s just my own personal taste and proclivity. Where is the harm in wearing a mouthpiece (in the appropriate circles, granted)? Are we making too big a deal about something that will eventually fade away?