Disclosure: I am a Knicks fan, and thus, success, in any form, for any other NBA team is a bitter pill for me to swallow. After enduring the Jordan era, the Finals losses to the Rockets and the Spurs, and living through the ongoing saga of Isaiah Thomas, I hope that I have a little objectivity when it comes to NBA teams that have any chance whatsoever of success in any form or fashion.

Mr. Garnett,
The rumors are circulating that you may be going to the Lakers. While this represents a chance for you to play in a major market and play alongside another bona fide superstar, I implore you to reconsider.

There isn’t an active player in the NBA that deserves a championship ring more than you. You have held the Timberwolves afloat since you arrived in Minnesota, but if you go to the Lakers you will be in for the same headaches you have endured, only this time, it won’t be in the form of Stephon Marbury or Latrell Sprewell, but Kobe Bryant.

Once Starbury left town, you probably thought to yourself, “Thank goodness. The guy’s got talent, but he just such a cantankerous so-and-so, I’m really tired of his attitude. I’m going to get Spree on my team. The guy’s got heart. He helped lead a New York team that had no business being in the Finals in 1999, and while they were ultimately blown out by the Spurs, he did all he could.” Sadly, we know what became of Latrell. He balked at millions of dollars with the claim, “I’ve got to feed my kids.” This was after you offered to restructure your contract to get and keep him on the court.

I felt very bad for you Mr. Garnett. You did not deserve that.

However, if you go to Los Angeles (at least as a Laker), you are in for more headaches. Kobe might be a bigger head case than Marbury and Sprewell combined. This is a man who has flip-flopped on every issue throughout his career. I’ll give you a few examples:

Flagrant Fouls
A. 2001 Playoffs against the Trailblazers: Kobe is elbowed by Scottie Pippen.
“The game is pretty much already decided. To take a cheap shot like that, I mean especially if you’re gonna’, if you gonna’ hit somebody, let them know about it, don’t try to deny it. You know? I told Steve Smith, ‘If I’m gonna’ hit you, I’m gonna’ let you know.'” (hear audio)

B. 2006 Regular Season: Kobe elbows Mike Miller of the Memphis Grizzlies.
“This being our home court, people come here and think it’s Hollywood and all sorts of stuff, so they think they’ll come down [the lane] and look pretty and shoot jump shots and dunk the ball and finger-roll the ball and do all sorts of cute stuff. And we’ve got to stop that.”

Leaving the Lakers
A. Kobe on the Stephen A. Smith show when asked if there was anything the Lakers could do to make him stay.
“No. I just want them to do the right thing.”

B. Kobe on the Dan Patrick show two hours later.
“I always dreamed about retiring as a Laker. I just hope and hope that something can be resolved. Something can be figured out. Just something so I can stay here and be in this city and be with the team I love.”

I’m not even going to touch his off-the-court activity and how he was willing to use his teammates names to exonerate himself .

You want to win, you want a championship, you want a damn ring. You don’t want to join the ranks of Charles Barkley and Patrick Ewing, great players who never got their gold. However, I implore you not to join a team with another headcase. You might not be able to take it anymore and you could snap and because I live in New York, I cannot promise you that I would be one of the twelve jurors that would call the assault justified.

There are other options for you, such as the Phoenix Suns. If you’re lucky, you might get on the Chicago Bulls (now you know that I’m pulling for you, because I loathe the Bulls). These teams are both on the cusp of a championship, and you could propel them over the top. While you will dramatically improve the Lakers, can you really guarantee that you will go the entire season without wanting to beat the ever-living-hell out a certain star? Make no mistake, you are a star as well. Will Kobe allow another star in the sky of Los Angeles?

Nevertheless, I wish you all the best. You’ve gotten the big contract, you’ve gotten peer admiration and the adoration of fans across America. All you need now is at least one championship (don’t get greedy). While I would love to see you in a New York uniform, I would not wish that fate upon you. Then again, it seems that the Knicks are a great retirement team, so when you are past your prime, injury prone, and no long for the hardwood floor, maybe I will get to cheer (and alternately curse you) in New York orange and blue.

All the best.